A Field in Which to Frolic**


Be As You Be
October 10, 2011, 12:27 pm
Filed under: IMO

*I had a YouTUbe video here, but it’s been removed. Here’s a transcript of the video: http://theabeforum.com/forum2/1310.html

This clip* from Abraham Hicks will probably cause a lot of resistance in most people.  As someone who has been really working on accepting what is, and accepting people exactly as they are, it is still difficult for me to wrap my head around this concept.

In all of my interactions with people, I do my best to remember that another’s actions do not have anything to do with me, and I shouldn’t take those actions personally. I try not to set expectations or requirements with anyone with whom I am trying to interact.  I do my best to say, “your life is yours, and I will not take it personally.”

However, in some situations, it seems almost impossible to not take it personally.  How do you not take it personally when, for example, your husband cheats on you?  The natural reaction is to, of course, take it completely personally.

“You would be ever so much kinder to one another, if you would not make each other promise to behave in certain ways so that you can be joyful.”

Although I will not condone cheating in a marriage, I can completely agree with the perspective that it’s a bit absurd to get married and ask a person to make a promise to you that is impossible for so many to keep.  Maybe this is why I’m not sure I can ever get married; I don’t believe in impossible promises, and I don’t want to ask someone to make one to me. That being said, I don’t think every woman should just resign herself to the fact that her boyfriend/husband will cheat on her. I know plenty of men who have no problem committing themselves to one woman. But I also know plenty of men who have a major problem with that.

“Be as you be, and I will choose to feel as I feel.”

This is quite difficult, but at the same time, it’s how I feel I should approach my relationships and interactions with people. I’ve only been consciously working at it for about a year, and it is becoming more natural, but it’s also hard to let go of what I’ve always been taught to expect out of people and relationships.

I have gotten to the place where I do not ask someone to be who or what I want them to be; I simply accept them as they are.  This isn’t always easy, and there are many times in which I feel frustrated, disappointed, or hurt because of a choice someone else makes.  As a matter of fact, O’m right in the middle of one of these times right now.

So at times like this, I don’t resist the emotion I’m feeling, but at the same time, I don’t wallow in it.  I allow the feeling to make itself heard, then I do my best to remember not to take it personally.  No one makes a choice based on how I feel about it; everyone makes their choices based solely on how they themselves feel about it.  Anyone who says otherwise is kidding his or herself. Sure, at times other people are factors which we use to weigh our decisions, but when it comes down to it, we can only make choices for ourselves.

The hardest part, at least for me, is when I can’t understand a person’s choice.  It doesn’t mean I don’t accept that choice, but I’ve always been a person who needs to know why – why is anything the way it is? I’ve always had a difficult time accepting anything without knowing the why, and unfortunately, when it comes to the choices of others, we rarely know the why.

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